Thank You For Letting Me Know You Better by Chontelle Shirk
Medium: watercolor, acrylic paint, colored pencils on watercolor paper
Dimensions: 9 x 12
Artist Statement: The piece is called: Thank you for letting me know you better. My hope is that it tells the story of the only kind of oppression I really understand, childhood oppression. Some of the images may be hard for some people to see, but that's the point really. Each painting is a part of my story. I personally experienced everything that I show in this piece. My childhood was my first experience of "abuse of power." The adults in my life used their power of me to satisfy something in them. Of course as a child I didn't know that, I believed (long into my adult life) that something was wrong with me. Some of the paintings are teh ways I dealt with the guilt and shame that often comes from being abused. The girl in the shower cutting herself covered in blood is something I did after every beating I got. It's not about death, being a cutter never is, it's about getting feelings out the only way I knew how. I have done so much healing from the past that I've hid from for so many years. During the group therapy I learned that I'm not alone and that so many of us behind the razor-wire have stories of childhood oppression. For many of us those groups were the first time we gave our experiences a voice. Once we started to share with others the things we have been through we started to heal. I still have a strong bond with the women in that group. What I found is that by giving our oppression a voice we all gained strength and the people who once had so much power over us, loss that control. I found that I am better becuase of the abuse I went through. That's how I can say thank you. I hope this piece makes people think, feel, connect, and heal. I'm taking a big step out of my comfort zone by submitting this piece. For most of my life shame has told me to never let anyone see the broken parts. I don't live in shame anymore, and a big part of why that's now my truth is because others have been brave and showed me their broken parts. We all have parts that we are scared to give a voice to, to show the world. The longer we allow that fear to keep our pain a secret the longer it will control us. I must also say thank you to all of the Let's Get Free team not only for all that you do but also for giving me a safe space to heal and live my truth. I always loved art but until coming in contact with LGF I didn't know I could use art to connect with others. By seeing how pepole respond to my work it has given me a passion to use my art in a way I never thought of before. The LGF art show started me on a path 3 years ago that I know will last the rest of my life. The first year I won I couldn't believe it. That gave me the confidence to submit to other organizations. Today I have several of my works published. I have connected with others in a profound way. I believe I am worth more than my past mistakes. So thank you let's Get Free! I hpe that one day soon I can give back to you and help you as much as you have helped me. Sincerely, Chontelle Shirk
Image description: Dripping watercolor background in reds and some purples. Page is separated into a top panel, and two columns, each outlined in black. Hand written words in black are written in each panel. At the top it reads “Thank You For Letting Me Know You Better.” The remaining text reads “I got the real you. / The parts that ou let no one else see. / When others walk away and that fake smile fades. That’s the person I know best. / Thank you because I got to see truth and in seeing truth I gained strength. / I got to define myself by eerything that you are not. / Thank you for showing me anger and hate, becasue I learned love and compassion. / Thank you for showing me prejudice, because I learned to see everyone as equal. / I learned how to be vulnerable and brave. / I learned how to take a punch and get back up. / I learned how to not allow fear to control me. / So yes, Thank you for letting me know you better, because to know you, means to know me.”